No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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