so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
How's work?
Spinning.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
