i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
