Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize