I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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