I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize