Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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