i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
