You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
