Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
