Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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