what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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