New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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