he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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