I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
