you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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