alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
