how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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