If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
