We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
