I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
