i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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