I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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