There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
