Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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