I have demons in me.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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