this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
