Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
