Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
