So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Randomize
