Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
