Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
