No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
