C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
vagina is talking i cant
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
