Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
