He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I have tasted many bathrooms
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize