Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
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My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
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This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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