Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
