That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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