Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
