thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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