i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
