Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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