I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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