Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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