Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
