i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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