For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
