So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
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They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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