i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize