Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
