Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
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