It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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