Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
