dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
