if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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