he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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