sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
