my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He has the fingertips of a God
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