all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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