Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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