I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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